Locus of Control

It's important to maintain a strong locus of control.

According to Wikipedia, the locus of control is defined as "Locus of control is a theory in personality psychology referring to the extent to which individuals believe that they can control events that affect them."

Whether we choose to believe it or not, there are always certain things within our realm of control and other things that are not. And as much as your personality can be defined by your surrounding environment, it's important to realize that the amount of control you have over your own life is at least partially defined by the amount of control you believe you possess.

The mystical concepts of someone who is smart or lucky often have a negative effect on your locus of control. Indeed, when students were praised for being smart as opposed to being praised for having worked hard, their performance suffered in comparison. By bringing the source of success and praise into a strong internal locus of control, students are more likely to excel.

In short, this echoes my previous post that there is a significant advantage in taking a perspective on things where you are handling the steering wheel.

It's Good to Blame Yourself (...sometimes)

It's always good to look for opportunities for growth.

When bad things happen, we're often told it's not our fault and that we shouldn't blame ourselves. That's all well and good, but sometimes when responsibility for the blame is not so clear, I think a different perspective may be more productive (so long as your self-esteem is intact). Assuming responsibility for things that may not objectively be your fault can be good because it provides an excellent opportunity for an excuse in improving yourself.

Even when things are clearly not your fault, you can still try to rationalize far-out factors that you could've/should've/would've taken care of if only you were a better person. You can make sense of the situation by thinking about how you can improve yourself from this experience by analyzing your weaknesses. This type of focus will also distract yourself from any discontent that you may feel.

Obviously, this does not work in all situations. Sometimes, the fault clearly lies with other people and there really is nothing you could have done. But nevertheless, I find that these instances are a lot rarer than most people think. Besides, it's always nice to take responsibility for things and put the control back in our own hands.